Fear or fear is a primary emotion that derives from the natural rejection of risk and manifests itself in both animals and humans. It is a natural state of alertness to something that could pose a danger and they are totally natural in babies and children (in any person, really, as a sign of survival instinct). Throughout childhood there are very different fears, and today we focus on a very particular one: the fear of strangers.
While around two months the baby begins to differentiate human faces and probably to smile, without differences the faces, this changes a little later. It's about six months when the baby can start being afraid of strangers. At this age the little one has matured and clearly differentiates those close to those who are not, he also knows himself a little more, he is more aware.
So, the baby feels safe when he is in mom's arms, or with dad and the little brothers or people well known to him, but the rest of the people are strange and he doesn't feel comfortable with them, he even cries when they approach him or show him with shouting, agitation, sweating, muscular tension ... We do not appreciate him, but his heart rate accelerates. As we see, it's nothing nice.
This fear is also possible to happen when something changes in the appearance of their acquaintances: when dad removes his glasses, when mom changes the hair color, the little brother disguises himself ... What happens is that he does not recognize them and for babies, if they don't see mom or dad, they aren't. Luckily, he will recognize you again and get used to the changes.
What to do if my baby is afraid of strangers
The baby begins to show his personality, but we can help him overcome those fears, without forcing them, but taking into account that he will have to interact with other people, adults and children. These are some tips that parents can follow if the child is afraid of the "strangers". We talk about close people, such as family members you don't see every day, those people who will be your caretakers ... and not strangers literally:
We are not to actively intervene in rejection but to calm our baby, hug him and continue talking naturally with that person, who sees that we have confidence and are comfortable with her. Do not put it in his arms or bring it closer to give him a kiss ...
Don't leave the baby alone with those people who are afraid of him. At first, the little ones need the presence of a mom or dad as a "security guarantee" and only in this way will they get used to their presence.
Try that unknown people or who have seen that they are afraid of the baby slowly approach him, do not give him any shock remember that the appearance of "unexpected objects" is one of the fears of the baby at this time), do not speak to him screaming (loud noises scare him too) and if it can be, get up to it, trying to make the baby see them as an equal.
Try that the contact initiative starts from the baby, not to be spoken or caught by those "strange" people. Many times, if the "unknown" person ignores it, it will not take long for the "little one" to get their attention. Therefore, it is best to show confidence with that person but leaving the baby aside, until he takes the first step.
When the baby begins to correspond showing his interest, the strange person may correspond gradually and each time with a closer approach: smiling, talking, giving him some toy ... and finally taking him in his arms or giving him a kiss.
When the baby begins to correspond to the stranger, take the opportunity to talk to him explaining who he is, in a kind of presentation that will be repeated as many times as necessary, on successive days ...
No hurry: give your baby time. True trust with a person will come over time and thanks to frequent contact. That is when a person stops being strange and becomes someone close with whom the child feels safe.
Obviously, these tips are for those people with whom the baby is going to have to become familiar, because we did not think of telling a stranger who wants to curious about how the baby is approaching little by little, or showing us kindness to them if we don't know them, etc. But it is not necessary to approach these people, therefore, it is best to protect our baby by telling them that they are afraid of strangers and not force an awkward situation for the baby and for us.
In the case of people of our confidence who have to deal with him sporadically, such as the pediatrician, it will surely be a bad time to visit, but we hope we do not have to return too often and the child may already have the next revision passed the stage of fear of strangers (or do not feel it with such intensity).
The stage of fear of strangers may last until they are approximately two years old. Sometimes it is much earlier, in the crawling stage, when they begin to expand their autonomy, when babies begin to not be afraid of strangers, but more usual is that this change happens around the year and a half.
The case of extremely shy children is different, even though they grow shy, they are different from fear. If you think your child is suffering from this shyness, go to a specialist.
Definitely, the stage in which babies are afraid of strangers is totally normal, is part of the evolution of the child, and we should not worry but help them in what we can overcome this fear so that they do not continue to go wrong.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | Extremely shy children: what do they feel ?, Fear of strangers, Chronology of childhood fears
