I had never heard of "methods" until a friend asked us, with our first newborn daughter, when we would begin to "apply the method." It was the first time I heard about Estivill, and I did not give credit either to his proposals or to someone planning to carry them out with his baby this good and first, without even knowing how he slept, as a "parenting plan."
The dream of babies is a topic that raises a lot of concern in parents. If we had the facility to adapt to its rhythm, it would not be a problem. But babies do not sleep like adults, and despite being normal, that can be a disorder for those who need to be rested and those who may be exhausted.
We all need to rest, and if the lack of sleep joins the cries, parents can try to find a solution where there is no problem. That is where the famous "methods" come into play, which are there for all tastes, even if they are actually reduced to two trends or "techniques."
There is two clear currents regarding sleep, the one defended by Dr. Sears, whose greatest exponents in Spain would be Carlos González and Rosa Jové and the one defended by Dr. Ferber, whose method has been adapted here by Dr. Estivill. There are also intermediate methods, such as the one proposed by Tracy Hogg, an alternative to Estivill that we are talking about extensively.
Many parents point out that the Estivill method has given them good results as we have seen in the comments to some posts in which an interesting debate has arisen between followers and detractors of the famous method.
The controversy is served. Those who have worked for them point out that the child does not suffer, and his detractors even indicate that they will have irreversible damage.
Actually, as we have pointed out above, the Estivill method is based on a previous one that also sparked controversy in the United States, the Ferber method. It seems that more recently Richard Ferber has stated that his techniques should be applied only to those babies who cannot fall asleep without being lulled.
But both (and their derivatives) lack a scientific basis and the little I have read of Estivill is based on a time table between the baby's cries and going to attend them (without taking them in arms; how far does the theme of “ bad habit ”!).
There are alternatives to the Estivill method. As simple as accompany the baby, assist him in his crying and gather patience. At the other end of what the Estivill method promotes we have Rosa Jové's theories and his "Sleep without tears", or authors like Sheila Kitzinger, with a more comprehensive, empathetic and affectionate approach, which we have also talked about extensively in the blog.
Babies know how to sleep
Authors such as Ferber or Estivill point out that babies learn to sleep through certain habits. Actually, babies shouldn't be taught to sleep, they they already sleep in the womb.
But their transit to the outside world is hard, they receive many stimuli, everything is new to them and they cannot distinguish day from night. To this is added the need to feed often or be near a caregiver to ensure survival.
Everything makes babies wake up quite often during the first months, and most for much longer. And it's normal, even healthy.
Many parents and parenting experts believe it is wrong to leave a young child alone crying, even for a few minutes. Supporters of "cryless" sleep believe that the behavioral approach is harmful to children and consider that it can damage their sense of security in the world and cause emotional damage. Some experts in psychopedagogy say that the technique can traumatize them.
You may not be too aware of the despair that parents can get from the fatigue of not sleeping. I've already told you that my daughters have slept all night around four months. But before that the nights were nothing idyllic, but never, I never remembered that question we were asked of newborns, "When are you going to start applying the method?".
I believe that babies are not pigeonholed in any instruction manual and that we need a lot of love, attention, time and patience to find the best "solution" for our children and for the whole family.
I don't know if there will be irreversible emotional damage in babies who "learn" to sleep with behavioral methods such as those mentioned.
But if I have to position myself on one side of this debate about sleeping methodsI clearly do it in which he believes that nobody likes to cry, that babies do not cry because they want or understand blackmail, and that they feel better if we accompany them, take care and take when they cry.
The ten most controversial parenting practices
Photos | Augustudios, CaraFreckles on Flickr
In Babies and more | When do babies sleep all night? Dr. Estivill avoided following his method with his grandson (and himself), not only does the Estivill method sleep the child, what Dr. Estivill should explain (if he were sincere), Tracy Hogg's method of sleeping: an alternative to Estivill
