Magazine pregnancies are rare. Sometimes pregnancy is not as pretty as you thought and although you get tired of hearing that "after childbirth forget everything bad", that may not happen.
Yes, the most common is to forget everything bad, problems during pregnancy, a traumatic birth ... and so, returning to another topic, "most women repeat" (with more or less fear, I would add). But it may not be that what happened during pregnancy or childbirth marks you forever and you really say "it's over here".
There are women who have real fear of becoming pregnant again or going through another birth, and even if they are happy with their baby. We are not talking about extreme cases of postpartum depression, tocophobia or irrational fear of pregnancy and childbirth.
We talk about women who overcome all the bad things, who are well with their son, but who they don't want to go through an experience that left them marked, for which they suffered. Many times it is that well-being finally achieved and that fear of being bad again, now with a new member in the family, which throws them back.
We have a baby or a small child, helpless, to take care of (or more than one), and return to suffer what we lived before would make it impossible for us to attend properly. It is a more or less common fear in mothers who will repeat experience, but elevated to maximum power.
It may have been due to hyperemesis or excessive vomiting, to have a risky pregnancy, to have suffered a traumatic, very long and painful birth ... And although the second time does not have to happen the same, the simple fact that such a possibility exists It scares the woman.
And then "they cut their ponytails," they decide not to have any more children, and the environment may not understand this option (especially if there were plans for more children) but with the support of the couple the family moves forward, serenely, understanding and assuming what has happened.
Of course, we can not avoid unpleasant comments that do not understand how we have not forgotten the bad, because it is generally assumed that women can do everything, when there is no paternalistic and derogatory view that "complains of vice", something that probably They will hear while he has the problems that marked him.
When bad memories become a problem
Normally, nothing happens if the bad is not forgotten and the woman has no more children. The problem could come when everything that affected the woman continues to affect her in her daily life, when can't make normal life, when there is a problem that marks your day to day.
Postpartum depression or posttraumatic stress disorder due to childbirth are problems that need psychological attention. Not solving what happened and feelings related to traumatic events can become a serious problem that would create great tension in personal relationships and in the family nucleus.
Then, together with family support and understanding of the environment, the woman needs psychological help, because even the relationship with the new family member is in danger. Associations such as Listening with the heart serve as emotional support for these women, no longer to help them forget everything bad, but to help them overcome it as much as possible.
These women need to be understood and treated, because not forgetting everything bad affects them immensely, and also their children. Only when they themselves accept, understand and overcome what happened can they return to normal, even when they do not want to have more children.
Definitely, if after delivery you have not forgotten everything bad, you have to reflect on your current situation, or it must be the environment that is interested in the situation of women. You may be well in the present and looking to the future, even when it does not include another member in the family. Or is it that at some point we signed the number of children we were going to have?
