I've been writing for almost six years Babies and more and never before had he talked about this subject. I have thought many times how to approach it and I have never done it because I have always felt that I did not have much to say for a simple reason: parents, when the mother breastfeeds, do not have to do anything concrete, or at least nothing beyond supporting the mother. Something like being a secondary actor who doesn't intervene in the equation unless someone tries to bother.
Over time I have realized that yes there are more things that can be done, or at least you can define a little more the term "support the mother." To talk about it I will explain how my role as a father in breastfeeding was, so you can see that it does not have to be so different from that of any father.
Not for being a nurse ...
Surely you think "yes, of course, but you are a nurse, so you already knew breastfeeding" to which I answer that it is possible that now nursing students do receive adequate breastfeeding training, but I assure you no. I did not receive it. With telling you that in my notes it says that after three months it is already recommended to start giving orange juice I have already told you everything.
With that little and erroneous training my first son arrived and the nurse asked us how we were going to feed him, if we were going to breastfeed him or a bottle. We had not talked about it, we had not discussed the issue because it seemed to both of us that the logical and normal thing was to breastfeed, and in case of not being able, bottle. It is what our mothers had done and it is what we considered normal.
Jon had a bridle, breastfeeding was not going well and the recent paternity opened a door to an unknown world in which we had many doubts and eager to learn. We begin to search for information on the internet through forums and blogs, and so we begin to read.
We got the book "A gift for a lifetime", by Carlos González, and from that moment I realized how wrong we were in many ways regarding breastfeeding.
I wanted to know more, especially as a father, and I signed up for a course in Barcelona to train breastfeeding consultants. It was stimulating, it was fun and it was curious to see that many of the things you learned were not in the public domain but, worse, they were not in the domain of pediatric professionals.
All this helped me to understand that there is no food comparable to breast milk, that breastfeeding is much more than feeding, that it is normal for a child to breastfeed with teeth, for a child who walks to breastfeed, and even for a child who run and jump mame.
And with all that information I could go with my wife and my son, with two years, where it was necessary knowing that what my son was doing was normal and logical and without any objection in plan "go, do not give here to the child who will all look at us ...". No, I never did something like that because I understood that one of the ways they both had to relate was that, breastfeeding her and breastfeeding him (or vice versa).
When the tits change "owner"
I understood, obviously, since luckily not all men entered the stereotype of Neanderthals who only thought of satisfying their instincts, that during that time my wife's breasts had a much more important mission than making her bust a beautiful way or of being an erotic element.
The tits changed owners and from that moment they were destined to do what they develop for: breast-feed.
Yes, there are women who prefer not to remove the erotic "functioning" of their breasts and put it before the act of creating milk and feeding a baby. Yes, in the same way, there are men who think alike. As always, everyone with his body who does what he considers best, but the worst standing, or the one harmed in this sense is the baby, which is born in need of immune cells that can be sent through breast milk and is left without it for an aesthetic issue.
Why not breastfeed?
As a father I also dedicated myself to looking for answers from a different prism than usual. You always say how important it is to breastfeed and explain everything as an answer to the question: "Why breastfeed?"
This is a mistake, because it seems that the logical and normal thing is not to do so and that mothers have to receive privileged information to become a VIP member of something and with a minimum monthly fee to be treated with greater haste. Something like "if you don't do it you won't have any complaints, but if you do we will attend you a little earlier." Something like "babies have to be raised with artificial milk, but if you want to improve their health a little more, you can give them breast milk."
No. I asked myself the opposite question: "Why not breastfeed?"And from there I looked for the answers, even in the advice of others, those that tell you" after six months he doesn't need it anymore "," from the year he almost doesn't feed anymore "," He's two years old, that can't be normal. "And I thought," Why not? ", and I never saw a clear reason that contraindicated breastfeeding in my son or, in fact, in any baby or child.
It is normal to give breast milk. It is logical. It is what your body expects to continue to develop as well as it did inside the belly. Why not breastfeed? I am not able to find any reason (If it is not for some medical reason or because the thing finally does not work, there are some cases).
Support the mother (and not your mother)
So parents become protectors of breastfeeding, a support figure and on that shoulder where a mother takes shelter when someone looks at her for breastfeeding in public (which does not have to happen, but sometimes happens), when the pediatrician or nurse tells you something like "you are crazy, your child is already one year old, stop breastfeeding or have health problems" (which does not have to happen, but sometimes happens) and when the mother, my mother, the mother-in-law of the breastfeeding mother, considers that "you are breastfeeding too much, it is already large, it is not normal" and that is where parents should be clear we have to support the mother of the baby and not our mother.
Yes, that she gave birth to us and perhaps breastfed, that she is the greatest, our mother, the one who raised us in the hard and mature ones, but her power should not exceed limits like that, and They tell us what they want, but they don't.
And if they do, we support our wife and with all our know-how (I have already said that we were not Neanderthals above, right?) We say that "thank you for your advice mom, but we prefer to do it our way. Do not insist , please".
As you can see, the father's role in breastfeeding is simple, but important. Be there watching so that nothing or nobody bothers the mother or the baby, and be there giving support for when they feel they need it. No more, no less, I think.
Photos | Thinkstock On Babies and more | The role of the father during pregnancy, The role of the father in childbirth: the mother and the baby need you, The role of the father in childbirth preparation courses
