Two weeks ago we interview the psychologist Mónica Serrano on how to choose a suitable nursery for our children and, since it is an issue that especially concerns parents, we will go deeper with it today in the aspects that must be taken care of to achieve a good adaptation to this space
How can parents make up for their absence when they leave their child in daycare?
In reality, his absence cannot be replaced, but he can try to compensate. We have to be aware that young children are not prepared to separate from their parents for periods as long as our socio-labor structure implies. Therefore, it is essential that the time that parents and children spend together each day is of quality. By this I mean that it is important that we be flexible and empathetic, understanding that our children, who have spent several hours separated from us, need us, and we must respond to that need.
Can you give us more details about what parents could do to compensate?
Thus, we have to prioritize so that, during the time we spend with them, we are truly emotionally available. Play with them, keep them in their arms, avoid unnecessary conflicts ... and, above all, leave other tasks that distract us for another time. In terms of compensating, the colecho is an ideal way to "recover lost time", because it allows us to spend time together and avoids a further separation, that of the moment of going to sleep. Of course, breastfeeding allows us to emotionally compensate for the separation experienced during the day in a very complete way at the level of contact and affection. My recommendation, of course, is to maintain breastfeeding (whenever possible) when the child attends a daycare center.
Finally, what would you recommend to parents to facilitate their child's adaptation to daycare?
In this case, we are often limited by the rules that the center imposes. Obviously, the ideal would be to be able to accompany our children in the classroom during the adaptation period. This would be the only way to facilitate the adaptation to babies. With slightly older children, we can provide it, also in other ways. It is recommended that the child knows the way to the center, that he has seen the nursery (even if from outside) several times with his parents, that we provide all the information we can about her, in the sense of having been there or, at less, at the door.
Can you give us some ideas to make the child feel safer?
Well, it is important to have told him stories about nurseries, about what is done there, what routines they will follow, so that he will understand what a nursery is, because in principle, the child does not know what it is. We can look for cartoons in which the characters attend the nursery and watch it with them. If we know a child who will go to the same nursery, we can try to match him so that he has a known reference when he has to go. On the other hand, in this case the use of transitional objects can be positive. Take an object familiar to the nursery that reminds you of your home and its safety.
Of course, childcare assistance should be done gradually and progressively in terms of time of stay. The first few days, it is very positive that the time of the child's stay in the nursery is short and increases progressively.
Very good, Monica. Would you like to give some other advice to our readers?
Yes, Mireia. I would like to convey to parents that they never restrict demonstrations of affection, taking their children in their arms, accompanying them until they fall asleep ... in order to facilitate their adaptation, as this is counterproductive. Some centers recommend that the child become accustomed from home to not be in arms, to sleep without support or even promote weaning. However, this is completely negative, as it generates a tremendous emotional discomfort for the child (and the parents) and a great sense of insecurity that makes adaptation difficult, in addition to being completely inadvisable for good emotional development. And one last tip: if they can match their work vacations with the first weeks of the child's attendance at the nursery, they will be able to respond better to the emotional needs of the child in this period, free of inflexible, stressful schedules and with full availability to Respond to the needs of your children.
We thank the psychologist Mónica Serrano the interview she has given to Babies and more, what we hope will help you to Accompany your children at the beginning of the nursery.
