Many times parents are criticized for our passivity or neglect when it comes to looking after our children. I do not deny that there are cases in which it is right, and although there are more and more couples that complement each other sharing activities and / or sharing tasks, there is still a way to go.
One of the edges that we have left to file is what I have heard many times in the mouth of parents from different conditions, and it is "what else, in the end what she wants will be done"and it is no longer a topic of conversations between men, it is that in some cases It's not that we don't want to get involved, it's that they don't let us.
The reminiscences of machismo
In the times of my parents and even today, it was considered that the majority weight of the upbringing of the children fell on the mother and therefore it was she who did and undid at will. She was "the one who understood that", "the one that knew"How many times have we heard that about"Ugh, you better ask your mother what she understands".
What we suck in our tender childhood has accompanied us to this day embedded in the depths of our subconscious. And it is already known that what is buried there is very complicated to take out.
Sometimes talking with first time parents about who will do this or that I realize that many roles are assumed by default by the mother. If they are left as is, they will be assumed by it most of the time, but if you ask that if they have decided so or if it is part of a cast they will say no, that the truth has not even stopped to think or discuss it, it is tell, "she assumes that it will be her turn to do it".
I give, for example, the case that the child becomes ill and someone has to stay to take care of him. Do youHow many men ask for the day off to take care of their sick child? Yes, there is still a long way to go.
Feminism?
However there are situations that are considered as "little fiefs"Feminine, private preserves in which we are allowed to enter yes, but having voice and vote is another song. I give you an example:
A normal shopping day for the baby; she asks which one do you prefer, this model A or model B? So far, at first sight, the choice is closed (A or B) and for the second it doesn't matter what you're going to answer because in most cases the choice is taken and it was nothing more than mere "courtesy of couple". Other cases may be the purchase of furniture and the rest of the intent of a baby.
All these situations have something in common, and they have always been exclusively female territory. I guess we all have a hard time giving ground.
Leave, I already do
How many times have you told that to your partner when you see him hesitating, or that it will take three quarters of an hour to change the child, or that it is the third set of clothes that he brings completely uneven or unsettled or whatever you call it.
It is true, some of us are a little clumsy and others simply cannot learn in 10 minutes what you have been doing for months. But we will end up learning, that's for sure, because we want to do it, we want to be part of everything and not just take the kids by bike on weekends.
And there will be difficult cases, but if you carry it behind your back no one benefits, sometimes it is necessary to push us into the ring and do the job between two.
And keep in mind that It's not that he doesn't want to get involved, it's that you don't leave me.
And you, have you felt identified with any situation? Are you sure the vague dad touched you?
